2013年9月22日 星期日

My Story

    My name is Illena,and I graduated from DAZHI senior high school.There are six members in my family, my father,mother ,two brothers and one twin sister. Particularly,my mother and my sister are the persons that decided who I am today .
I have been relied on them very much since I was a kid ,I saw them as my friends and so did them.Although my twin sister is older than me about 30 minutes, I sill regarded her as my lovely sister,and I respected her a lot.
I always said she is kind of a functional robot,sometimes she acts like my mom,sometimes she acts like my friend and she's always my best sister.Because of our very close relationship,I became too shy to make other "normal" friends,I was a little bit passive on making friends ,I usually waited until my classmates came and talked to me.I know this is not a good way to live in college life that you have to be active on everything,but this is my personality and it's hard to change .But the weird thing is that I am sort of enjoying being alone,which makes me feel more comfortable than being with someone I am not knowing so well.But that doesn't mean that I am a cold girl.When you know me more, you will find out that I am a very sensitive and warm girl.The reason why l talked a lot about my sister is that without her I will not stand here today and l love her more than loving myself.Finally,I want to talk about my hobby ,I love to watch baseball game but  actually l play badminton well. Anyway,l am interested in watching most of the sport games.Also, l like to listen to the music and that's all.

1 則留言:

  1. Hi Illena -

    Please leave a space after each comma and period, but not before them.
    Please use past tense when you talk about something that happened at a certain time in the past, so if "respecting your sister" is what you always do, but not only in the past, you should say, "I respect my sister a lot."

    Here are the corrections of your mistake:
    1. "Dazhi Senior High School"
    2. "I have been relying on them . . . "
    3. "Although my twin sister was born 30 minutes earlier than me . . . "
    4. " . . . she is kind of like a functional robot."
    5. "Sometimes she acts like my mom, and sometimes she acts like my friend, but she's always my best sister."
    6. "Because of our very close relationship, I became too shy to make friends with others outside of my family."
    7. "I was a little bit passive in making friends."
    8. "The weird thing is that I sort of enjoy being alone, which makes me feel more comfortable than being with someone I do not know so well."
    9. "I love to watch baseball game, but . . . "
    10. "l like to listen to music and that's all."

    Kelvinn

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